A Cold and Sudden Surprise

Day 22 - Surprise Me Challenge

Today I was surprised by...

Hearing Dad's voice after knowing he's supposed to be at work

A transformed winter land outside

Little Sister's nastiness towards me no matter what I do

Falling completely into knee high snow

A recipe at the back of the audiobook I'm listening to

The fresh snow lay endlessly before me, like a vast wasteland of dangerously beautiful white nothingness. Even though I knew it was ludacrous, I plunged right in, jeans and everything. What was the fun of taking the recently plowed driveway when you could go knee high through perfect white powder? It was exhausting and cold, but completely worth it. Adventures never are conveniently comfortable, they wouldn't be adventures if they were! As I climbed up a high snow bank, legs numb but face exultant, the snow beneath me suddenly gave way and I plummeted down. I was almost submerged in the snow, bare hands burning against cold hard ice crystals. Quickly I got up and for an instant was tempted to worry about how wet and cold I'd be, and how ridiculous I probably had looked. But then I pushed those grown up thoughts aside and laughed long and joyously at myself, blundering through more snow drifts with little mind to my body. As I sobered up, I wished someone else was there with me, to laugh at me and with me. I could almost see my friends reactions to my fall in my imagination, like evaporating ghosts of better days. In this way, even in my almost constant solitude, I am never completely alone.

Hoverboarding Dentist Surprises

Day 21 - Surprise Me Challenge

Today I was surprised by...

Seeing a kid I knew at the dentist office

Finding out I don't have any cavities!

Seeing an ad at the food store to buy a hoverboard


Just for the record, I am a cavity factory. All the back teeth in my mouth are silver and black. I can almost pick up radio signals like Lucia Ball! (ok, just kidding about that one) One visit to the dentist revealed that over the course of half a year, six cavities had broken out. Yeah. When it comes to getting cavities filled and braving the Nova Cane needle, I'm a veteran. For these reasons I have come to dread dentist visits. I mean, besides all the normal factors that cause every kid to cringe at the thought, it has always been frustrating to hear the words "you do have three cavities, you'll have to schedule another appointment." Me, who brushes two times a day. Me, who flosses and avoids leaving cavity causing substances on my teeth too long. Me, who a nurse once told me just has the kind of teeth that gets cavities, no matter what I do. To hear the word "cavities" can be very frustrating. Today, however, I did not hear those words. It's always a good day when that happens. The surprising thing was that the visit before I was warned that I had four watch areas. Places about to become cavities. Plus, I had been neglecting my teeth duties, I've been so busy. Brushing only once a day and sometimes not even flossing - but that's our little secret. I thought for sure at least three of the four watch areas were full blown holes in my molars. At the dentist I kept waiting for them to break the news to me; "oh, and it looks like you have four cavities in the back you'll have to get filled in." But the news never came and I walked out of there a free man. As Little Sister and I got into the car and compared tooth brush colors, I still felt as if there had been some mistake made, but who was I to question professionals!?

Surprising Dreams

Day 20 - Surprise Me Challenge

Today I was surprised by...

An alarm going off an hour earlier than it was supposed to

A good dream

The delicate pinks of an early morning sky

The way a clear blue sky pierced my heart

The refreshment of friendship

Fragile, surprising hope that maybe anger is gone

The strong oranges and passionate reds of a sunset sky even after the sun's gone down

One of the first surprises came in the early morning before I even had a chance to ask God to surprise me. Upon learning that my alarm went off at five am, not six am, I laid back down to go back to sleep. As I drifted off I wearily contemplated my previous dreams, realizing once again that they were cold, lonely and blue. The sort of dreams that makes sleeping almost more painful than being awake. They're the story of my life now a days. When I woke up again, though, I found out my dream had actually been a good one. It was warm and happy... I wanted to just stay in bed and fall back into it. I suppose that's the danger of having a good dream in a hard time in life. Still, I was thankful to finally have had a good dream. It game me the strength to actually get myself up a little quicker - well, that and the fact that I had now slept an hour over and needed to take a shower before church.

Surprised by My Lack of Surprise

Day 19 - Surprise Me Challenge

Today's surprises have been very few and very small. I come to the end of this day and do not feel surprised at all. Sadly I am afraid this is because I have been forgetting about this challenge a bit. My biggest surprise today was that I realized I had forgotten to ask God to surprise me today. That's pretty sad.

To be honest, I had hoped that in doing this challenge I would be somehow inviting God to surprise me in supernatural, miraculous ways. So far He's only surprised me in small, daily life things. Don't get me wrong, I know He can still show up in big ways through this, it just seems to me that so far He works more in the daily little things. That really isn't such a bad thing. Think about your breath, each breath you take is surprising. Every time the sun rises it's a surprising miracle!

I think God does show up in both big and little ways... the problem is with my eyes. I forget to look. I get caught up in the predictability of routines and lose my wonder of life. The very fact that my biggest surprise today was that I had forgotten to ask God to surprise me is proof of this. The surprises are still there, I just don't notice them. I've forgotten to wait in expectant excitement for what new surprises God has in store for me each morning.

I'm about ten days away from being done with this challenge, so I think it's about time I wake up and stop missing the little but most important surprises each day. This morning I woke up with this verse running through my mind.

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

I've been telling myself this verse the last couple days because frankly, I've been dreading each new day. All I want to do is stay in bed and let life pass me by. It's time that mindset stopped. Life is an adventure, full of surprises! That's really why I decided to do this challenge, to fully realize how surprising life can be. So tomorrow, even though it'll be day 20, I'll treat it like day 1.

Christmas Eve Surprise

Day 17 - Surprise Me Challenge

Today's surprises
The sun breaking out of the grey sky
Collapsing onto the floor from full speed running without getting hurt
The small amount of people at the Christmas Eve service
How terrified I was of being burned by wax
How much I enjoyed watching Jingle All the Way

We probably made quite a sight. Me walking into the church with my white dress, bright blue leggings and bright orange over jacket and Little Sister in her baggy sweatpants and pink fuzzy pajama top that she claims is a shirt. The day and night styles of dressing probably reflect the different ways we view Christmas Eve service. To me, this time is the very essence of Christmas. It's one of the few days I deem special enough to dress up fancier, along with Easter, funerals, and weddings. Little Sister was only there because she had to be. She'd rather be home playing Minecraft. Whatever both our views were, there we stood. Instantly I felt awkward, very few people were there that I knew, and even fewer young people. Heading into the sanctuary to sit down with my family I'm surprised to find only one row of people sitting up front, and all of them over 50 at least. Little Sister and I were the only young people there. I felt as if I had stepped into a different church. It surprised me that not more people had come, as if a Christmas Eve service was a barely breathing memory kept alive only by the elders who still make the effort to attend.

Church Surprises

Day 13 - Surprise Me Challenge

 

Surprises today

Going to church

Little kids reading their lines really well

Visiting with Supergirl almost as if no time had passed since we’d seen each other

An idea planned on, not only talked about

 

Church was the biggest surprise for me today. The fact that I went to church. After a night of Star Wars: A New Hope, eating out, and looking at Christmas lights with my family the night before, I had developed a terrible cough. The kind that makes you feel as if you’re going to cough out your lungs. Needless to say, when I woke up this morning my voice was in shreds and I felt just as yucky to boot. I prepared to settle down to a quiet morning all to myself. My plans however were interrupted when Dad and Little Sister decided to skip Sunday School and just go to the service. At the last moment I realized I was feeling better and decided to try and make it. Slip in, watch the Christmas program, slip out. That was my new plan. It didn’t happen quite as I figured it would though. But then, life rarely does. That’s what makes it one big surprising adventure! I ended up talking a lot more than I had expected. It was fun though to see people’s reactions to my frogy voice.

Surprised by Generosity

Day 9 - Surprise Me Challenge

I'm going to be honest. It's late. I'm dead tired. Writing this blog post is the last thing I feel like doing right now. But I've already started missing days - not in asking God to surprise me and noticing surprises - but in recording what I find. That's why I'm on here tonight, forcing myself to get back on track. Don't expect a masterpiece.

Two times today I was given gifts by people I didn't expect to get gifts from. One, at work one of the teachers gave me his Christmas gift because it had gluten in it, which he can't eat. And the other was tonight at youth group. When one of the guys found out I hadn't gotten a gift because I was taking pictures of everyone else opening gifts, he offered me a gift.

Another surprise came while I was mopping at work. I realized mopping's fun! Skating my boots on the floor, letting my body twist with the swipes of the handle. Sorta like dancing on ice.

As I worked on my school by a window today, I looked up and was surprised to see large fluffy snowflakes falling. It almost felt like a first snow again.

There you have it, not at all in chronological order or expounded upon. Something, something, something, and to all a good night.

Surprising Strength

Day 5 - Surprise Me Challenge

The first real surprise didn't come until the evening. Little Sister and I were hanging out in the school hallways, waiting for the elementary Christmas concert to be over. We arrived a little too late and there weren't any seats left. Instead of awkwardly standing in the darkened back of the seating area, Little Sister and I decide to wait in the hallways. The surprise came when I looked up and saw Superman coming down the hallway. I hadn't been expecting to see any of my friends till the high school concert began.

The second surprise came after the high school concert. Overexcited from being around so many people, I giddily decided to run through the dark cold night to our car. As I ran I felt as if I was flying, my legs moving powerfully with little effort. It was refreshing and I felt like I could just keep going and going for another couple miles.

Not too many surprises today, I guess. Who knows what surprises tomorrow holds, though! 

Surprised by Sea Dragons

Day 4 - Surprise Me Challenge

There haven't been a lot of surprises today, despite the fact that I went shopping with Mom and Little Sister, thus exposing me to all sorts of different circumstances.

My first surprise was when I come home from work and find a package waiting for me. I already know what's inside it - one of my online bought Christmas gifts - but it is surprising how early it arrived.

The next is more of a surprising revelation about myself rather what happened to me. It is in the car as we drive the forty minute drive to the nearest major shopping town, with a sad song from Reliant K on about being given a broken heart for Christmas. I contemplate, as I look at the brown December world out the window, that even though I have been going through a deep and dark valley in life, despite all my sorrow and pain, my heart is not broken. The more I hurt, the closer I sense Jesus' presence. He sings His love song over me day and night. With such a close and perfect companion, no matter how much I get hurt in this life, I am never broken. I'm the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!

Walking into Cub Foods, a man on his way out offers us his cart and his genuine friendliness surprises me. On our way out of that same store, a group of boys huddled together in the cold outside the door wishes us a good evening and a Merry Christmas. Coming so genuinely from a group of younger teenage boys also surprises me.

After being towed along through the clothing sections of Kohl's with two girls who actually like all the endless clothes racks, my next surprise comes when we climb back into the car. I, at least, am over-consurmized, over-stimulated, have achy feet and feel lonely. Little Sister suddenly panics in the back seat. She can't find her ipod, the one she carries around everywhere and looks at as often as people look at their smart phones. That is not the surprise for me, the surprise comes once she and Mom go back into the store to look for it. The quiet of the dark car is relieving and I have a moment to myself. I pray aloud to Jesus and He fills the emptiness that all the glaring lights, the shouting sale signs and darker feeling music that shopping at Kohl's always leave me with.



Day 3 - Surprise Me Challenge

The instant I turn on my phone in the morning it goes off with a text message. It asks if I'm still awake. As I head downstairs for breakfast I respond in my mind that obviously I wasn't. But I don't send it as a text. If it was important they'll get back to me.

The next surprise comes as I storm to my room, angry, hurt tears filling my eyes. I'm about ready to give up on being strong, ready to just wilt onto my bed and obsess over the weight of life's problems as torrential rains pour from my eyes. I'm stopped abruptly as I almost run into Mom coming around the corner of the hallway. Backing up a couple steps I just stand still for a second, struggling between anger and sorrow. She looks at my face contorted in anguish and I'm afraid she's going to be annoyed with me. I'm crying - again. Instead she gives me a hug and the hurricane of emotions die down. The tears now come out of gratitude and thankfulness for God's love and my family - especially my Mom, in the hard times.

At work I am surprised to find my path cross with Mythical's. I greet him happily, feeling as if I haven't really spent any quality time with him for a long time even though I see him a couple times a week. This unexpected encounter leaves me to ponder, as I open cans of pears, how I've been feeling separated from my friends lately.

As a joke, the mom helping today decided we should put only one piece of pineapple and one green bean on Honeylemon's tray while she's busy and see her reaction. This sparks to life the prankster inside of me. I am surprised to realize that I haven't been very true to who I really am lately. It dawns on me that I've been living in a sleepy-sorrowful zombified state for a long time. But as we snicker in conspiracy together, waiting for Honeylemon's reaction, I realize this is who I am. Joke playing, fun loving, joyful. WAKE UP Tina! That's what I want to shout at myself. No more sleeping through life.

Ok, this final surprise of the day is a huge spoiler for anyone in the midst of reading the twelve books of the How To Train Your Dragon series, so if you don't want it spoiled, stop reading now!

What's that? You'll take your chances? Ok... but you've been warned!

Most of my stories I listen to on audiobooks as I do various mindless tasks around the house (mostly laundry). Today I have been working insanely away at a portrait for a friend to get it done in time. The How to Train Your Dragon books have been my diversion for the past several days, keeping my mind from dropping into too deep a pit of sorrow. The stories have been getting EPIC and I'm devouring them. I just found out that Toothless, the toothless (hence the name) tiny dragon of Hiccup's that everyone is convinced is the most common, useless dragon you could have, is actually a young gigantic sea dragon!! Evidently sea dragons start out really small, grow to the size of mountains, able to obliterate islands with one fiery breath, then as they age to ancient years they shrink back again to smallness. Tiny Toothless, a sea dragon!? Who woulda guessed!?

Morning Surprises

Day 2 of the Surprise Me! Challenge

An Arizona sunset sky is what first surprises me today, even though it's a sunrise. That's how I describe it when the sky is a teal-green blue peeking out beneath fierce pink and orange clouds. Whenever I look out at a sunrise or sunset like this, I have a strange feeling of being in Arizona.

The next thing that surprised me today was a "Good morning, Tina!" sung out cheerily from Honeylemon as she passed by the school kitchen. I was further inside the room, wiping down carts and she was walking in a hurried pace down the hallway, so it surprised me that she took the time to greet me. Another thing that surprised me was just how genuine her greeting felt.

The third thing that surprised me today was coming into the kitchen and finding that Mrs. Kent was the mom helping with the dishes today. The schedule said someone else was coming in, and Mrs. Kent wasn't scheduled till next Monday. They had traded days, I soon found out.

The 1st Day of Surprises

Surprise Me! that's the book that caught my attention on the library shelves. In my usual skimming fashion I pulled it out, judged it by it's cover, then sped read the back of it before deeming it interesting enough to actually use up space in my brain to think about. The first sentence of the back paragraph sparked my imagination. It read;

"'Surprise me, God.' What if you started the next thirty days with this simple prayer? No agendas, no plans other than waiting on God with eager anticipation of what is about to happen next."

 The 30 day challenge part was what I was interested in. It reminded me of how I wanted to start doing monthly challenges and blog about the various results. What better way to start then with this?

So for the next thirty days I will be waking up each day and asking God to surprise me, for better or for worse. At the end of the day, I'll write a short summery on here of what I found (as well as journaling about it in depth in my own private journals.)

Day 1

Walking from the library, hood pulled over my head in the December weather, I ponder the idea of this thirty day challenge. Across the street I see a lady pulling out her garbage can. She looks familiar to me, but living in a small town, just about everyone looks familiar. I've learned not to waste too much time trying to figure out why. It's always because I saw them at some church event, or school event, or sports event. As I pass by, however, I am startled to hear her speak. "Hey! Is that you?" I turn and pull my hood back a little so she can see me better. "Oh, I thought you were someone else! I'm sorry!" I quickly assure her that it's fine and walk on, amused and wondering who she mistook me for.

Later, at home, as I journal in my room, I look up and am surprised by the sunshine. Just this morning I looked out on a dreary grey world and contemplated how the outside felt like my inside. Nowadays even happy things look greyed to me. But as I look up from my writings I find sunlight warmly washing over my highly decorated walls, making everything glow with vivid colors. Looking at it I felt... happy.

A simple spontaneous idea of something to order online for Christmas turned into a much bigger ordeal that took all night. After finding the item I was looking for, two other gift ideas pop into my head. Adding them to my shopping cart I find I can get free shipping if I get up to $35! After adding a couple other items I find some are not eligible. Rising frustrations and over electronicized eyes put the test on my patience. After finally getting enough qualified items in my cart I go to check out and am unpleasantly surprised to find the item that started the whole thing was at least $15 shipping! It was too perfect to give up, however. I reluctantly decide to spend the extra cash.

 

Dinovember Part 3

After a long, uneasy silence with no sign of the dinosaurs, they reemerge. This is what Tina woke up to this morning. 

Dinovember Part 2

The dinosaurs decide to study up on their enemy by reading Tina's manuals on humans (her journals) But curses! They're locked with a word spell! The gears begin turning in their little plastic heads...

Cowardice and Texting

Let's talk about bravery, cowardice, and texting.

I'm an introvert. I communicate better through written words than through speaking out loud. Well, that's the easy excuse I always use, anyway. That's why texting looked as if it was the magical answer to all my relational awkwardness.

When I first got my cell phone I thought I was finally apart of the social club that everyone else was in. Now I could talk with everybody all the time and I wouldn't feel lonely or left out anymore. I'd have texting buddies and finally have some real, deep friendships.

It didn't take long for me to find out that this wasn't true. So often I use the term "introvert" as an excuse to not do the scary things and stay in my lonely little comfort zone, and I wonder if there's a better way to do human connection than through short little black words on our screens.

getarealestatecoach.com

How in the world could we - I - have thought that instant written words could take the place - be even better - than conversations face to face? When you talk to someone in person, you get that element that no social media site can give you, human connection. You can look into their eyes and see emotion and what they really mean behind their words. You pick up unconsciously - almost like a superpower - body language, no matter how slight and unnoticeable it is.

When you text, you just get words against a blank white screen - able to be interpreted in about a hundred different ways.

I think culture's texting obsession is a matter of courage - and the lack of it. Face to face conversation is hard. Especially when you've got something hard to say, something that's close to your heart. When I cop out of the hard things that could grow me, however, and I just text it, I believe I miss out on what could've been a much deeper relationship building conversation instead.

hellogiggles.com

So I'd like to apologize to every person I've ever texted instead of talked to in person. I took the easy way out, because human connection scares me. Exposing who I really am is something I rarely have the courage to do. But human connection is what God has made us for, no matter how hard it is. and I'm ready to be courageous. I'm willing to dare to do things differently than the rest of society. To strive for the harder and better things, instead of settling for the familiar and easy.

So next time I have something to say, be warned, I'm going to say it out loud.

mhnpulse.com

Dinovember Begins

 It's that time of year again; Dinovember! Who knows what destruction, mayhem, and all around dinosaur mischief will ensue this year?

What's Dinovember, you ask? It was started by These People and the idea was adopted by Mom and I. Two years ago we tried to convince Little Sister that her toy dinosaurs came to life every night in the month of November. We had her going for a while, but of course at the end of the month we had to let her in on the secret. Now, she and I have fun wreaking havoc on the house with these toys come every November, and sharing the results with others.

So starts another Dinovember!

Filled with a fiery passion from their newest idol, the Indominus Rex from Jurassic World, the dinos decide it’s time for an end to pointless mischievous destruction. It’s time for world domination!

My Question to Every Young Man (Especially to my Brothers-in-Christ)

Why would you take all of a person’s hopes and dreams and fears; all they have been, all they are and all that they will be and reduce them down to a number?

Did you forget?

They are an eternal living soul!

Made in the image of God… in essence, you are judging God; saying one of His precious creations is better than another. Why would you treat a girl – usually one you don’t even know the name of - as if she were just another item for sale on a market?

I bet the slave markets were run the same way. Examine the object’s eyes, smile, face, body - do the numbers add up high enough?

The human trafficking that goes on in our minds.

Don’t you think there’s a better way to appreciate the beauty and value of our fellow human beings? If you’re attracted to a girl, then fine. If you think she’s stinkin’ gorgeous, then great! If there’s something off putting about her, that’s okay too.

But why put a number on her?

I do not write this because I am angry or hold a grudge or because I am judging you. I write this because I am hurt to see my fellow brothers-in-Christ pass judgement on beautiful, eternal souls whom God created and loves passionately. I know this is not how it should be.

I am also a little scared for myself. I’m scared of the numbers discussed behind my back that stand in judgement of me.

Jury, judge, and executioner. 

I am much more than just a number, and so is every other human being on this planet.

I’m just asking you to stop and consider what those numbers really mean.

Check this photo out on my Flickr account

Microstory Challenge: City Sidewalk

A dog lies on scorching sidewalk, tongue lolling. Hair matted, flies festering. Droplets of saliva splatter the ground, disappearing on impact. Dry as a desert of dead bones. Feet approach, icy treat in hand. A whimper pleads. The feet walk mercilessly on.