The Sign of a Smiling Snack

May 5: A Gift in a Sign, a Smile, and a Snack

1. The graphics for the Wide Awake Coffee Co.

2. A friend’s smile on a graduation invitation

3. Apple sauce in the morning

Walking down the grocery store aisle with my Mom, I see it and start laughing. It always makes me laugh. That graphic on the coffee bag, the one with an eagle but his eyes are bugging out of his head twice the normal size. That’s Wide Awake Coffee Co. for you. Today, the pink poodle with those same caffeinated wide eyes for the French Vanilla roast catches my attention the most. While Mom shopped for whatever she was looking for in that aisle, I just stand there and grin big at the bug eyed animals.

Going about my day, I end up passing by the cork board in the kitchen a lot. Mom puts all of the pictures that we get in Christmas cards onto this board. Graduation announcements get put here too. Whenever I pass by, my eyes glance over the wall of faces. Normally it’s mostly a lot of relatives that, although I recognize faces, can’t put names to. But this year there’s several pictures of friends mixed in with the group as well. Today, three graduation invitations at the very top draw my main attention. Seeing the smiles of three of my best friends causes an automatic smile to cross my face as well as I walk by with a basket full of laundry. 

A small container of apple sauce has been sitting on the top shelf of the fridge with my name written on it for the last few days. The first day I had gotten it out to eat with my meal, but after I cracked the seal, I realized I wanted cottage cheese instead. So I put it in the fridge to have as a snack sometime later (sometime is the key word). I tried to have it on Sunday, but with my stomach being unhappy with me; it only caused me to have a stomach ache. I pushed the plastic container away, giving it a confused and hurt look at its betrayal of me. This morning, I decided to give it a second chance and had it for my morning snack. It tasted beautiful and refreshing, everything unsweetened apple sauce should be. The half container satisfied me so well that I put back the granola bar, unopened.

In Which I have an Early Morning

May 4: Three Gifts Before 9 AM

1.  Flora and Ulysses at 4 AM in the morning

2. Peppermint Tea and Tums for an unhappy stomach

3. Watching/Listening to Elijah Wood read Me and My Cat

Stretched out on the couch (more like scrunched up, because it’s so short), I breathe slow to calm myself. I am alone in my island of light. It’s 4 am, and the darkness seems oppressive at the edges of the light. Waking up with a stomach ache is bad enough, not being able to get back to sleep is even worse. Especially when you know you. Need. The. Sleep. And I tell my body, “no, not this morning, please! Let me go to sleep!” I can get a little panicky if I try too hard to fall asleep with no success, and with enough repeats of nights like these, I have found the best thing to do is to not try to sleep. To try and trick my body into thinking that all I want is to stay up and do something. Or think about something. Then my rebellious body will most likely cause me to fall asleep. So that’s what I do. I grab the book that I’m reading, Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo, and go out into the living room; turn on the spot light that makes the brass of the fireplace shine golden. It’s the perfect amount of light, enough to read easily, but dim enough to encourage sleep at the same time. I laugh as Flora smuggles the squirrel Ulysses into a donut shop, where the super powered squirrel goes from being caught up in the waitress’s hair to flying through the air, avoiding the angry chef brandishing a flashing knife. Then smack! the poor squirrel hits the glass door. His first three thoughts after the collision causes me to giggle again; “I flew! Where’s Flora? Is that a piece of donut!?” I let the book fall a little and I sleepily contemplate Ulysses’ love for Flora. It’s so pure and sweet, completely free of romance. The concept of love is so much more than kisses and hugs. Love is the pure song of the heart that warms even on the stormiest days, it’s the smile that lights up your face when a good friend walks into the room, it’s laughter with family. Ulysses wrote a poem (yes, a squirrel!) about that feeling, when he looked at the grass and sky and Flora, and I absolutely love it!

“I love your round head,

The brilliant green,

The watching blue,

These letters,

This world, you.

I am very, very hungry.”

And I fall asleep with these warm, happy thoughts drifting around in my head. When I wake with a start, I look at my watch; 6:39 am. At least that’s an extra hour of sleep. But I’ve got to get up. Gotta get ready for church!

Because my stomach is still grumbling against me, my diet for breakfast is very frugal. Peppermint tea, a Tums, and a strawberry fruit bar. Peppermint tea is “my” tea. I asked Mom to get it for me when I found out about its health benefits. Now, whenever I either need to make sure my stomach stays happy with me, but especially when it gets grumpy, I have a cup. But one thing I’ve forgotten lately is the psychological benefits of simply slowing life down and drinking the tea while looking out the window in the afternoon. I don’t do that enough nowadays.

I take the tea up to the computer room. Yesterday I found a video of Elijah Wood (my favorite actor!) reading a book called Me and My Cat. I left the window up, deciding that I’d find time to watch it sometime later. I decide that sitting and sipping a cup of tea while trying to not be stressed about whether I can make it to church or not is the perfect time to listen to a picture book being read aloud by my favorite actor. Little Sister comes into the room. Whenever I talk with her about Elijah Wood, or show her something about him, I feel guarded. Because she’s got (or had?) a crush on him, I dread what she might say. My response usually is “No, he is not ----! He’s cool, that’s all. Don’t be disgusting!” She’ll just laugh at my good natured outburst. She’s used to me acting like this whenever she talks about a guy in the wrong way. I’m afraid our views of the male population are as different as black and white. But still, we both enjoy sitting there, listening to the story.

“If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.” - Abraham Lincoln

May 3: Three Gifts Found in Difficult People

1. The fact that Little Sister was too sick to go with me to Comic Con

2. Little Sister telling me I'm a good director

3. The way Little Sister wears bright colors all the time

 

One of the items on my unofficial bucket list is to go to a Comic Con convention. So you can imagine my extreme excitement when Mom came into the room that I share with Little Sister where we’re both hanging out (she was home from school sick) and she told us that there’s going to be a Comic Con in the Cities! And on top of that, Dad was going to the Cities the next day to do some yard work on our old house. So for the rest of the day we all excitedly planned and dreamed how Little Sister and I would be dropped off at the convention in the morning and then be picked up later in the afternoon. The only thing was the price; $90.00 for two tickets, and the fact that Little Sister was sick. Mom said that she’d be fine paying the price for us, since this was such a unique experience, and I was confident (in my usual optimistic way) that Little Sister would be fine the next day. Plus, Sean Austin was going to be there!! That’s a bit of context for this morning. I wake up, and she’s coughing. Then she takes forever to decide whether she’ll be able to go or not; this is because she really wants to go, but is scared that she’ll be too sick to. Dad leaves at 7 am, and we’re running out of time to decide. We haven’t even bought the tickets yet! So I decide for us. We’re not going, not this time. There always is, of course, the possibility of me going all on my own… but I didn’t sleep well the night before and am not feeling half as brave as I was yesterday. But it’s just as well, I tell myself. There are things that need to get done here at home. I’m actually even a little bit thankful.

Having watched some of FinalCutKing’s amazing films, as well as his behind the scenes and interviews; Little Sister and I have caught the filmmaking bug again. Because we stayed home from Comic Con, we now have the whole day to film! Or at the least… dream about filming. Little Sister get’s this idea for a short film where one of us touches the other, causing that person to vanish. It’s finally beautiful outside after a week of grey, cold, rainy weather, so we head outside to film. After taking several retakes, we get some good footage; but I feel as if I’ve been a bit too bossy and short-tempered directing Little Sister. I always feel like that after filming with her. I apologize to her if I was being too demanding but she responds with something a little surprising; “you’re a good director, Tina!” This encouragement makes me feel as if maybe I’ll actually be able to be a filmmaker someday. Or even, start being one now!

Okay, I admit it. All three of these things today are taken from Little Sister. She’s the only one I have the guts to call difficult and talk about it, because I know she doesn’t mind. Besides, there are very few difficult people in my life; I’m the kind of person who likes just about everyone. We’re eating supper, and I look over at her, trying to find the third thing for the day. She’s wearing her baggy, bright yellow shirt, with bright bracelets of several different colors. I like looking at the colors. That’s something I like about her fashion style. She’s bold. Her bright red pants, neon green stripped shirt, or orange baggy T-shirt. Almost everything in her wardrobe is colorful and it’s always fun to see what she’ll wear. I find that things that are bright, bold, or have pops of quirkiness or uniqueness always catch my attention in fashion. Things that make me smile, and Little Sister has plenty of that kind of clothing.

The Beauty in Flat

May 2: Three Gifts Flat

1. My green card that will allow me to get my moped permit
2. Footprint in the mud
3. The Netflix case that holds Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

I laugh as I tell Mom that it sounds like I’m an immigrant when I refer to the green piece of paper on the counter as my “green card.” That “green card” is my certificate of completion of the moped course. Without it, in the state of Minnesota, I can’t get my moped permit. So yeah, I’m thankful for that. I remember back to the night before when the instructor had passed out our test results. He had read my ‘a’ as an ‘e’ and called out “Justin.” There was silence, because, although I suspected that was me (my full name is often confused “Christine” or “Justin”, which is one reason why I like being called “Tina”), I waited in case there was a Justin in the class. Then I spoke up, said I was “Justina” emphasizing the ‘a.’ Then that moment as he put the paper down; said it right out loud and I could barely believe my ears, “she aced it!” I had to look at my paper to make sure I understood what he had said. 100%; not bad for a test taken at 9:30 at night.

With the week of grey and wet weather finally clearing up in the afternoon, I see my chance to try out my new mud boots. I had never needed mud boots in the cities, but now, with a front yard that’s practically wilderness it’s so large, Mom decided it was time to invest in some. At Wal-Mart I had fallen in love with a pair; grey with bright yellow soles. The perfect thing to cheer up a grey day! Outside, I go to the far end of our yard, to where the “Dead Marshes” are. A crystal clear pond had built up on the edge of all the reeds. A couple ducks first waddle, then fly away as I clomp towards it. As I squish and struggle in the mud, I finally feel like myself again. Tina, brimming little girl curiosity and innocent love of life with her feet in the mud. The wind gusts strong, making me struggle to stay upright as my feet are glued in the ground like tree roots. In my hand I hold my Bible, pages opened to the Psalms.

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” 

– Psalm 19:1

I gaze up at the sky; that blue that makes me fall in love every time I look up at it. The clouds rush rapidly by, being pushed by the strong winds. How true that verse is. I lean down and examine the flat boot prints in the mud. Now that I have rain boots, there is no where that’s off limits to me!

And the third flat thing; that red flat envelope which holds something that is much anticipated throughout the whole day. A Netflix envelop, with Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 within. With Little Sister home sick for the day, this evening seems like the perfect time to watch it.

The Joy Dare

Three things a day, choosing to see God’s blessings in the everyday and the routine of life. A dare to choose joy, to go on a scavenger hunt in search for God’s gifts. That’s what I’m doing. That’s what this is. (Let’s see if I can actually do a daily post on here again!)

May 1: 3 Gifts Tasted

The little orange tablets sit in a little container, being displayed triumphantly from the excited scramble to pick up as many as I could gather the night before; all scattered on the ground after a fun youth game. I ignored the white ones, and the green ones, and the red ones. They were probably minty, or spicy. All I cared about were the orange ones. Tic Tacs; they were one of my favorite things to eat when I was little. Every time I go to the store, I’ll stare longingly at the containers of tic tacks, wishing they weren’t so expensive. Honestly, I had started to resign myself to the fact that I may not get to eat another tic tack… ever. Not as long as I was too stingy to spend the money on something as temporary as candy. But there they are, a small handful of bright orange Tic Tacs. The orange makes me happy. I set the container in a place where I’ll see it often, to brighten up the grey, rainy day outside. Already, one has been taped into my journal to be kept forever (or until it disintegrates!) I have a problem with hanging onto things, I know. Still, as I pop one into my mouth and suck on it slow, I debate whether to save the last few and put them on display on my desk with the container of pink and purple Nerds, or to eat them all, of course, sharing some with Little Sister.

Later, Mom and I are scrambling to get into the car. It’s 4:30 and I’m eating a quickly made PB & J sandwich while we drive to a collage campus forty minutes away, to take a moped course I signed up for (yes, I bought a moped!!). The bread is perfect, full of a variety of seeds, and not dense. Dense breads kill sandwiches. The taste of PB & J’s never gets old, especially when it’s made by my parents. Little Sister and I haven’t been able to recreate the perfect flavor that our parents are able to achieve for some reason. Also, it’s always fun to eat in the car; it makes the food seem more interesting and like you’re on an adventure!

The first thing I do when I slide back into the darkened car after the four and a half hour course is grab with shaky hands for the fruit bar in my purse. It tastes heavenly. Still, my hands are quivering. Mom goes to a McDonald’s drive through; buys a chocolate shake for herself and gets a fudge sunday with fries for me. This is the second time I’ve had a fudge sunday at 10:00 p.m. at night. I can think of nothing better to have at 10:00 pm at night than a McDonald’s fudge Sunday. In the darkness of the car, driving home, the sweetness of the ice cream with fudge and the occasional lukewarm salty fry is a perfect combination. It’s amazing how delicious food tastes when you’ve become so hungry that you’re dizzy and shaky. But as I scrape out the last of the fudge from the plastic container, I wonder if this is going to affect my ability to fall asleep when I get home.