There haven't been a lot of surprises today, despite the fact that I went shopping with Mom and Little Sister, thus exposing me to all sorts of different circumstances.
My first surprise was when I come home from work and find a package waiting for me. I already know what's inside it - one of my online bought Christmas gifts - but it is surprising how early it arrived.
The next is more of a surprising revelation about myself rather what happened to me. It is in the car as we drive the forty minute drive to the nearest major shopping town, with a sad song from Reliant K on about being given a broken heart for Christmas. I contemplate, as I look at the brown December world out the window, that even though I have been going through a deep and dark valley in life, despite all my sorrow and pain, my heart is not broken. The more I hurt, the closer I sense Jesus' presence. He sings His love song over me day and night. With such a close and perfect companion, no matter how much I get hurt in this life, I am never broken. I'm the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!
Walking into Cub Foods, a man on his way out offers us his cart and his genuine friendliness surprises me. On our way out of that same store, a group of boys huddled together in the cold outside the door wishes us a good evening and a Merry Christmas. Coming so genuinely from a group of younger teenage boys also surprises me.
After being towed along through the clothing sections of Kohl's with two girls who actually like all the endless clothes racks, my next surprise comes when we climb back into the car. I, at least, am over-consurmized, over-stimulated, have achy feet and feel lonely. Little Sister suddenly panics in the back seat. She can't find her ipod, the one she carries around everywhere and looks at as often as people look at their smart phones. That is not the surprise for me, the surprise comes once she and Mom go back into the store to look for it. The quiet of the dark car is relieving and I have a moment to myself. I pray aloud to Jesus and He fills the emptiness that all the glaring lights, the shouting sale signs and darker feeling music that shopping at Kohl's always leave me with.
Day 3 - Surprise Me Challenge
The instant I turn on my phone in the morning it goes off with a text message. It asks if I'm still awake. As I head downstairs for breakfast I respond in my mind that obviously I wasn't. But I don't send it as a text. If it was important they'll get back to me.
The next surprise comes as I storm to my room, angry, hurt tears filling my eyes. I'm about ready to give up on being strong, ready to just wilt onto my bed and obsess over the weight of life's problems as torrential rains pour from my eyes. I'm stopped abruptly as I almost run into Mom coming around the corner of the hallway. Backing up a couple steps I just stand still for a second, struggling between anger and sorrow. She looks at my face contorted in anguish and I'm afraid she's going to be annoyed with me. I'm crying - again. Instead she gives me a hug and the hurricane of emotions die down. The tears now come out of gratitude and thankfulness for God's love and my family - especially my Mom, in the hard times.
At work I am surprised to find my path cross with Mythical's. I greet him happily, feeling as if I haven't really spent any quality time with him for a long time even though I see him a couple times a week. This unexpected encounter leaves me to ponder, as I open cans of pears, how I've been feeling separated from my friends lately.
As a joke, the mom helping today decided we should put only one piece of pineapple and one green bean on Honeylemon's tray while she's busy and see her reaction. This sparks to life the prankster inside of me. I am surprised to realize that I haven't been very true to who I really am lately. It dawns on me that I've been living in a sleepy-sorrowful zombified state for a long time. But as we snicker in conspiracy together, waiting for Honeylemon's reaction, I realize this is who I am. Joke playing, fun loving, joyful. WAKE UP Tina! That's what I want to shout at myself. No more sleeping through life.
Ok, this final surprise of the day is a huge spoiler for anyone in the midst of reading the twelve books of the How To Train Your Dragon series, so if you don't want it spoiled, stop reading now!
What's that? You'll take your chances? Ok... but you've been warned!
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